The Todd Blog

I. Love. This.

I have an unhealthy infatuation with gadgets and kitchen implements. Our closets and cabinets are filled with testaments to that reality. However, two of my recent purchases filled our house on a completely different level.

The first Ramsey smokeout happened around New Year’s Eve. Hayley and I are somewhat addicted to one of the greatest video games ever created, Rock Band 2. And by somewhat, I mean stupidly obsessed. We’ve spent money adding songs, new instruments (Hayley has a schweet bass guitar) and, the accessory to beat all accessories:

The Rock Band Stage Kit.

The stage kit was first announced with the release of Rock Band 2, but was priced at $100. Even at that steep cost, I wanted it. Then, a few months ago, I noticed that the price had dropped to only $60. Again, it was expensive, but I still wanted it to be mine. And then, at Christmas, I was looking for something to spend some gift-card money on, and I saw that Gamestop had the kit listed for only $25. It was time.

The stage kit extends the virtual stage into your living room with a strobe light, light show and a fog machine, all timed with music on screen. It truly is a marvel of entertainment engineering.

Unfortunately, this marvel is a little too powerful. As we started to rock out to Kelly Clarkson’s classic “Miss Independent,” the fog machine kicked out its first blast – which promptly filled our small living room with smoke. Then, about five seconds later another blast. Five seconds more, another. By the third blast, our smoke-filled living room started choking Hayley and me up. And setting off our smoke alarm. Which is connected to our ADT security system. And doesn’t stop beeping very easily.

Fortunately, ADT called, we answered and no fire trucks were dispatched to our house. Sadly, I’m not sure when we’ll be able to use the fog machine again.

The second happened just tonight, on Valentine’s Day. Being the romantic type, I thought it would be nice to make a nice dinner for Hayley. So I bought some red-skinned potatoes, asparagus, bread and strip steaks for a delicious dinner at home. I also bought a cast-iron grill pan for the steaks, since it’s 30-degrees outside. And, much like the stage kit, I’d been wanting one for quite a while.

Everything was going swimmingly – the steak marinade smelled great, the potatoes were cooking and the asparagus was simmering nicely – until I threw the steaks on grill pan. Immediately, our house filled with smoke. 

Our exhaust hood was powerless to do anything with the amount of smoke that was coming from the steaks. We opened windows and doors and tried to fan the smoke out, but after only about 30 seconds, the ADT smoke alarm started going off. And we couldn’t get it to stop. At all. It beeped, loudly, for at least 5 minutes, which, in ear-spitting-beeping-time, is actually an hour.

Also, we somehow missed the call from ADT. So, we got a nice visit from three very friendly firemen. In a very large red truck, called a fire truck.

On the upside, we were able to throw the steaks in the oven and salvaged the dinner. 

But I definitely hope that the future objects of my desire are smoke-free.

Since the day after we were married, Hayley had been asking me for a nicer trash can. She really, really, really wanted an aluminum trash can to replace our wimpy, unattractive little plastic one. I had no clue how expensive these things were, so once I discovered this reality, I had to turn her down – a task that no one should desire. She can be quite persistent.

This request continued for about four years until a couple of months ago when we were at the Bane of Our Bank Account and, what do you know, they had a very nice-looking aluminum trash can on sale! Being the benevolent husband, I instantly placed it into our shopping cart. Hayley’s joy was palpable.

We got the trash can home and, again, what do you know, it fit PERFECTLY where we wanted it go. Hayley’s joy filled our kitchen.

A couple days passed and, as we are wont to do, we filled up the trash. I prepared to remove the bag and I encountered some difficulty. After a struggle, which included a ripped bag and an injured foot, the bag was removed. I just assumed that we had perhaps installed the bag improperly.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and I hear Hayley exclaiming in frustration from the kitchen. I knew that I had fought against this trash can for weeks and it appeared that Hayley had hit her breaking point, too. 

Up to this point, Hayley had been keeping her frustration with the can a secret. She didn’t want me to know that she hated the can as much as I did since she felt responsible for our owning it. Knowing that our hatred was shared, I immediately went to Lowe’s and purchased a new, nice, relatively expensive trashcan.

And now, rather than our frustration, our joy is mutual.

There’s really no point or lesson to this post. 

Other than, of course, the obvious: Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime.

Happy Tuesday.

I loved Slumdog Millionaire. It was brilliant. You should see it.

But you should also see this. What it lacks in substance it makes up in poignancy.

Have a great weekend everyone.