The Todd Blog

So, as you can probably tell from the title, I got the worst fortune ever in my Chinese lunch today:

Why is this the worst fortune ever? Let me share.

1.) This isn’t a fortune. Now, there are countless “fortunes” out there that make this grammatical error, but in order for something to be classified as a “fortune,” I believe it must predict something that is going to be happening in the future and a rough time frame for said occurrence. For example, “You will be pretty in the coming days” is an acceptable (and likely true) fortune.

2.) How do they know I’m pretty? They’re right, but what if the man serving me my sweet and sour chicken had instead handed my “fortune” cookie to a less attractive member of our society? How would they respond? Would they believe the cookie? Would they feel the cookie was mocking their less-than-stellar appearance? Would they be flattered? Obviously, this fortune raises some serious issues. If the cookie was believed or flattering, there would be little impetus to improve one’s appearance if necessary. If the cookie was interpreted as mocking it could cause some serious legal issues should one wish to pursue a claim.

3.) This cookie is sexist. And I don’t mean this in the good way — as in “I’m so hot, I’m making the cookie sexist.” No, this cookie assumed, based on the adjective it proudly displays, that I would be a woman. I’m sure demographic research is neglected when determining which “fortunes” are and aren’t appropriate to be folded into cookies, but I think that using a feminine descriptor is a risk that fortune cookie companies should be hesitant to shoulder as my rough research shows that an equal number of men purchase Chinese food as women.

So, anything exciting happen with your lunch? Have you received a worse “fortune” in a cookie?