Will vs. Action

Todd

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
– Romans 7:15

I think it’d be a lot easier to be a Christian if my actions just automatically aligned with my will.

I sincerely want to be a good person. A person who is not just kind, but is a force for good. Someone who can be counted on to follow through on his word. Who actively puts others’ needs in front of his own.

Seriously. Those are things I want.

Or, maybe, more accurately, those are things I want to want.

Because, in reality, the way that I live my life is informed very little by those wants.

Rather than spend my free time improving the world, I flip on the TV and XBox 360, wasting hours on mindless, fruitless improvements to virtual worlds.

Rather than take the time to write reasoned, deepish (let’s not pretend I have the capacity for profundity) blog posts, I tweet shallow, inane, quasi-humorous statements.

And rather than actively engage in a community of like-minded disciples, I find or manufacture reasons to not get plugged in or even attend.

For me, the worst part of being a Christian isn’t “giving up” sinful activities – it’s knowing that there is such a divide between what I do and I want to do. The good news, is that the best part of being a Christian is knowing grace ensures that divide doesn’t change the way God feels about me in the slightest.

NOTE: Sorry for not blogging more. One of the things I want to do is write more. We’ll see if that happens.

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4 Comments

  1. November 23, 2009 at 12:41 pm — Reply

    Well said, Todd. I think this is the way a lot of Christians feel, trapped in our own comfort and inability to move forward in Him. The following verses have been part of prayers recently.

    “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me…Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” Psalm 51:10&12

    “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26

  2. Jp Barnes
    November 23, 2009 at 3:52 pm — Reply

    Todd Who??? Oh yeah, thAt Todd! Missed your posts. This one isn’t just any gem, it’s a genuine pearl. Great post, Todd. Welcome back from that virtual rabbit hole.
    Jp

  3. t4toby
    November 24, 2009 at 5:09 pm — Reply

    The interesting thing is that I am not a Christian, per se, and I have the exact same struggle.

    I think any human with a conscience faces this dilema.

  4. November 25, 2009 at 7:39 am — Reply

    t4toby, I’m intrigued by the “per se” you added to the “not a Christian” statement. What do you mean by that?

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Will vs. Action