Frakking Bears


hayleySupposedly, I am an advertiser’s nightmare.

I pay attention to commercials and find plot inconsistencies, grammatical errors, poor line readings, ridiculous scenarios and tons of flawed logic on the part of the writers and producers. If they expect me to ignore the fantastic capabilities of my DVR and actually sit through their ads, they need to put a little more effort into not making their ads asinine.

And as may have been previously discussed in this space, I bristle at someone telling me what to do, so when someone on TV tells me to buy a certain product my natural inclination is to avoid buying that product just so that they know I can’t be told what to do.

There have been many products that I have avoided based solely on their lame/bossy commercials, but never has a product’s advertisements incited the anger I feel when the Charmin bears come on my screen. They’re stupid, nonsensical, and gross. I will sit through used car and fast food commercials, but I will mute and turn away from those Charmin ads.

I refuse to buy their product, but they are tricky and bought the prime shelf space at the grocery store, so I have had to teach myself to be much more cognizant of my toilet paper choices. No more strolling down the aisle and absentmindedly grabbing a package off the shelf while continuing to push the cart for me.

No, I hate those bears and will not buy Charmin toilet paper until they find a new ad campaign and issue an apology to America for foisting those bears upon us.

The end.

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  1. February 23, 2009 at 9:20 am — Reply

    Wow. That’s exactly how I feel about Spangles. I love their food. But I can’t bring myself to eat it due to their commercials, and hideous ‘For-God-s-Sake-Everything-must-have-it’s-own-Horrible-logo’ menu.

  2. Hayley
    February 23, 2009 at 2:21 pm — Reply

    Internet – this is just a note to let you know that I do not approve of the picture of me Todd chose to accompany this post. He assured me I look nice in this picture, but he took it on the night of a performance and I was in stage make up, and I feel I look like a clown and/or a hussy. A clown hussy, if you will. This is just to let you know that I do not live my life looking like that. Thanks.

    • February 23, 2009 at 2:29 pm — Reply

      It breaks my heart that this is the first comment you have left on my blog.

  3. February 23, 2009 at 11:00 pm — Reply

    Nah. . .your haircut made your makeup look totally respectable.

  4. February 24, 2009 at 1:21 pm — Reply

    I was a kiosk guy for a weekend once. I lured people to talk about insurance with a golf putting grass to put for a chance to win dinner. A lady fake tripped and threatened to sue but mall security saw her dive on camera. That was the end of my efforts.

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Frakking Bears