The Todd Blog

Supposedly, I am an advertiser’s nightmare.

I pay attention to commercials and find plot inconsistencies, grammatical errors, poor line readings, ridiculous scenarios and tons of flawed logic on the part of the writers and producers. If they expect me to ignore the fantastic capabilities of my DVR and actually sit through their ads, they need to put a little more effort into not making their ads asinine.

And as may have been previously discussed in this space, I bristle at someone telling me what to do, so when someone on TV tells me to buy a certain product my natural inclination is to avoid buying that product just so that they know I can’t be told what to do.

There have been many products that I have avoided based solely on their lame/bossy commercials, but never has a product’s advertisements incited the anger I feel when the Charmin bears come on my screen. They’re stupid, nonsensical, and gross. I will sit through used car and fast food commercials, but I will mute and turn away from those Charmin ads.

I refuse to buy their product, but they are tricky and bought the prime shelf space at the grocery store, so I have had to teach myself to be much more cognizant of my toilet paper choices. No more strolling down the aisle and absentmindedly grabbing a package off the shelf while continuing to push the cart for me.

No, I hate those bears and will not buy Charmin toilet paper until they find a new ad campaign and issue an apology to America for foisting those bears upon us.

The end.