Archive for September, 2007
Worst. Fortune. Ever
So, as you can probably tell from the title, I got the worst fortune ever in my Chinese lunch today:
Why is this the worst fortune ever? Let me share.
1.) This isn’t a fortune. Now, there are countless “fortunes” out there that make this grammatical error, but in order for something to be classified as a “fortune,” I believe it must predict something that is going to be happening in the future and a rough time frame for said occurrence. For example, “You will be pretty in the coming days” is an acceptable (and likely true) fortune.
2.) How do they know I’m pretty? They’re right, but what if the man serving me my sweet and sour chicken had instead handed my “fortune” cookie to a less attractive member of our society? How would they respond? Would they believe the cookie? Would they feel the cookie was mocking their less-than-stellar appearance? Would they be flattered? Obviously, this fortune raises some serious issues. If the cookie was believed or flattering, there would be little impetus to improve one’s appearance if necessary. If the cookie was interpreted as mocking it could cause some serious legal issues should one wish to pursue a claim.
3.) This cookie is sexist. And I don’t mean this in the good way — as in “I’m so hot, I’m making the cookie sexist.” No, this cookie assumed, based on the adjective it proudly displays, that I would be a woman. I’m sure demographic research is neglected when determining which “fortunes” are and aren’t appropriate to be folded into cookies, but I think that using a feminine descriptor is a risk that fortune cookie companies should be hesitant to shoulder as my rough research shows that an equal number of men purchase Chinese food as women.
So, anything exciting happen with your lunch? Have you received a worse “fortune” in a cookie?
Monday Musings
Well, I’m back from my business trip to D.C. – which I didn’t talk about beforehand so my wife would be safe while I was gone, because I’m a good husband and son-in-law. I’m trying to get my thoughts together, so I’ll deposit random thoughts into my blog today for my “overflow.” Here’s what you can expect:
- Washington DC was amazing. I actually had about 36 hours there this trip rather than the 10 I had last time. I was able to use those extra hours to see some of the sites. My favorite was definitely the Lincoln Memorial. I’m not a history buff, but it was pretty inspiring to see the tribute our country gave to such an amazing man. I can’t wait to go back with Hayley and spend more time around the memorials and see some that I missed.
- The new Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds CD is great – except when Dave starts talking. He sounds like a drunk/high fool in those (thankfully) brief moments. Fortunately, the music is classic Dave and Tim and it’s great hearing some new stuff with the duo’s flavor. I actually like some songs better without the full band — When the World Ends and The Maker in particular. There are also some fun new songs, one of which I may post later today. You should definitely pick this album up if you’re a fan.
- Another nice tactic: let a complete stranger use your cell phone rather than use a pay phone. I tried this in the airport and struck up a pretty nice conversation with a young man who was returning from Afghanistan to see his family. He was in fatigues, which is why I offered my phone in the first place, but I think I’d like to try this again with a civilian and see what happens.
- The Bronc’s pulled out a thriller yesterday — I’ve never seen a special teams unit get on the field so quickly. I’m not ready to make Elway-comparisons for Cutler yet, but I do like the way he marched the team up the field with composure and confidence. I don’t know what this season holds – we did barely beat the Bills after all – but I can’t argue with the 1–0 start.
Some more ways to be nice…
A few weeks ago I wrote a blog post about being nice. Over the weekend, I came up with some additional ways for kindness to be a ministry.
1. Putting your shopping cart in the shopping cart stall before driving off. There are few things that are more annoying to me than pulling up to a parking spot at my local grocer only to discover that a shopping cart has been left in the spot, making parking difficult. Even if the abandoned cart doesn’t affect my park, it still bothers me to see them left there.
I don’t have any scientific evidence, but I can assume, based on the frequency of seeing the unstalled carts, that Christians are just as guilty of this behavior. Look, I know, going grocery shopping can be stressful and maybe even exhausting. But how big of a deal is to walk 30 feet and deposit your cart? If you’re wearing a Christian t-shirt or have a Jesus fish on your car and you leave a cart, you may as well deny Jesus right then and there for the poor parking lot attendants.
2. Throwing away your trash at the end of your movie. Yesterday, at Stardust, a couple in front of us left their trash (which contained brought-in food in the form of a Sprite can and foreign candy) in the floor, causing some people on their row to trip on their way out. I know, I know, there are people who are “paid to clean up the theaters,” but I don’t think that gives us the privilege to leave our movie-viewing area a wreck. I think we should carry our gallon Coke containers and lampshade-sized buckets of popcorn to the trashcans ourselves and let the cleaner-uppers sweepvac up our popcorn remnants and dropped Nerds.
3. Don’t annoy the hostesses at the restaurant. This area is perhaps more personal than the first two — I used to be a host, so I know what this is like. It’s a busy night, you’ve got as many people on the wait list as you do in your dining area. As you’re frantically trying to balance the call-in orders, clearing the tables and updating your pager list, there are few things as frustrating as someone walking up to your desk and saying, “I see two tables open, why can’t we sit there?” Or, as you’re taking a person to a table and they say, “Oh, can we have a booth instead,” usually in a fakely sweet voice with a slightly embarrassed, but not really, smile. But worst of all is when someone gets frustrated or annoyed with you, the lowly host, because of a long wait, poor service or a perceived seating discrepancy.
Hosts get paid slightly above minimum wage, don’t run the kitchen and are more than likely in high school or not far removed. What good does it do to get angry or annoyed with them? What good does it do to “press your case” for a quicker or better table? None, none at all. So stop. Particularly stop when you’re wearing a shirt that says “To know Jesus and to make Him known.”
So, do you have any Labor Day weekend or recent experiences that fuel some “nice” ministry ideas? Share them here!
“Stardust” Review" rel="bookmark">“Stardust” Review
This weekend, Hayley and I saw “Stardust,” a fantasy that follows Tristan’s journey to become a man by winning the heart of his true love. Here’s my review. (I’m using the “Ramsey Movie Criteria.”)
Content
Stardust provides us with a wonderful, new fairy tale. The protagonist, Tristan, promises the girl he is courting that he will retrieve a fallen star in return for her hand in marriage. But Tristan isn’t the only one after the star. A witch and a wicked prince are also after it for their own nefarious purposes.
The story is engaging and satisfying, if not particularly surprising. Things play out pretty much the way you expect them to, but this is hardly a slander against the film. It is, after all, intended to be a fairy tale and it executes this purpose magnificently.
Speaking of “executing” there was a bit of violence in this film, but most of it was standard fare for movies of this type. Most of the violence was implied, not shown. That said, it might be a little disturbing for younger viewers.
The movie is rated PG-13 due to fantasy violence and some risqué dialog.
Performance
I thought the actors’ performances were spot-on from the sweet, but timid Tristan to the frighteningly powerful and evil Lamia, played by Michelle Pfeiffer, who, of course, did an absolutely stunning job (how do you like the number of commas in that sentence?). Ricky Gervais was almost the highlight of the film for me, bringing his hilarious delivery to an entirely too-short scene. Movie producers, we want more Ricky!
Artistic Value
The film was beautiful with exceptional special effects, perfect costumes and nice camera work. The score was slightly forgettable, but inoffensive.
Outcome
Hayley and I both enjoyed this movie immensely. The ending is satisfying and leaves you feeling uplifted and happy to be in love. This film will likely be purchased by the Ramsey household upon its DVD release.
Rating:
I give this movie 4 out of 5 stars.
Have you seen this flick? What did you think?