One week, five days ago I wrote a post about the church of Christ. It was somewhat cathartic, getting my feelings out there and having other people (not all) pat me on the back for what I was feeling.Today, I’m not feeling as confident as I was 12 days ago. I’m a 24 year old, passionate, easily frustrated, cynical, lifetime church of Christer who is much better at highlighting the bad rather than the good. I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know what’s best. I’m not as respectful of older generations as I should be. My pet causes may not be worth rocking the boat. My feelings of not being valued by my congregation may be nothing more than deep-seated insecurities.
In spite of my uncertainties, diffidence and hesitations, I know that I am destined to do incredible things for the kingdom of God. I know that my life isn’t an accident and that my time spent here on earth isn’t meant to be wasted belly-aching about some doctrinal disagreements or methodological misgivings (how’s that for some alliteration?). I simply must not allow my congregational frustrations or petty personality differences distract me from the work that I have been given to do.
That is how I’ll make my decision on what to do about my church situation. If I reach a point that I simply can’t stop being distracted, I will have no choice but to leave.
This requires (at least) three things from me:
- I must adopt a greater spirit of humility.
- I must focus my time and energy on living the life of a disciple and not on institutional trivialities.
- I must find some balance of accountability and authenticity – that is, I need someone to whom I can speak openly and honestly about the way I see things, but who will also help me see when I’m being hyper-critical or silly.
How does that sound to you? Is it obvious? Naive? What do you think?